An elderly Filipino went to confession and said to the priest, “Father, during World War II, a beautiful young American girl knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Japanese. So I hid her in my attic.” The priest replied, “That was a wonderful thing you did. There is no need [...]
Archive for the ‘Jokes and Humors’ Category
Joke TyM
Posted in Jokes and Humors on May 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
2007 Ireland’s Best Joke
Posted in Jokes and Humors on April 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The following was voted the best joke in Ireland in 2007. John Kelly was in a pub; he lifted his glass of beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between my wife’s legs.” That won him top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.
He went home and [...]
Donkey Racing In Texas
Posted in Jokes and Humors on April 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter him in the races. However, at the local auction the going prices for horses was so steep that the preacher ended up buying a donkey instead.
He figured that since [...]
No Sex Tonight
Posted in Jokes and Humors on April 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.
Well, the [...]
Aren’t you afraid of me?
Posted in Jokes and Humors on April 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A few minutes before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.
Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman [...]
I Like Your Thinking
Posted in Jokes and Humors on April 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A teacher asks her class, ”If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Johnny.
”None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, ”The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.” Then Little Johnny says, ”I [...]
Nuns in Heaven
Posted in Jokes and Humors on April 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.
“And so,” says St. Peter, “have you ever had any contact with a penis?”
“Well,” [...]
Quote of D Day
Posted in Jokes and Humors on April 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Honk if you love peace [...]
Mr. Bearbull Jokes, 04Mar’08
Posted in Jokes and Humors on March 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A 40-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the nearest hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 50 years to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in hospital and to look beautiful. She [...]
Mr. Bearbull Jokes 27feb’08
Posted in Jokes and Humors on February 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The Maharishi died last week but left behind some quotes:
1. The darkest hour comes just before the dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
2. Never forget you are unique, like everybody else.
3. Before you judge a person, walk a mile on his shoes. That way, [...]
